MY STRUGGLES
I STRUGGLE WITH
EMOTIONAL ABANDONMENT......
40995 People struggle with this too.
I got married believing I would have a partner to share life with a healthy family Instead, I ended up more alone than ever before rather bunch of craps n abuses on physical n mental level with my education being my biggest curse as the prime statement all time popping up from in laws n family..Place where reading a English newspaper was a bad habit as daughter in law comes to work not to read ... where talking to elders n sharing your genuine problems seems to be rude n disobedient...where wearing or dressing twice a day means you have bad character or you have habit of not valuing money .. much more in que which kept on going . .stealing of belongings also became a hard way to survive n a matter of self security n Moreover for the same you were blamed being careless what a beautiful world God has created must say how KARMA'S pay back in various forms.....never mind ..
SHACKLED TO A DEAD MARRIAGE
I was left alone in our marriage. My husband didn’t know how to acknowledge my feelings or show me his support. After 6 months of courtship and 4 (2 years separated) years of marriage, we gradually become strangers — to the point where mutual understanding faded and there was hardly a trace of connection left between us.
I wanted him to hear me out, to show that he cared about how I felt and to notice what I was going through. But that wasn’t something he wanted to do. He was a “best friend” to others outside our home, but for many years I felt like I came in second place to everything. I was left thinking, I wish he wanted to be my friend. When I told him how I felt, he’d dismiss my feelings as if they weren’t even real. We became strangers, living under the same roof, hardly talking. On the rare occasions we did talk, it usually ended in arguments. We even slept on same bed as if in separate rooms because he didn't want to be near me.
When my husband was present, he was never really there for me and our daughter. He had moved on before, but I wouldn’t let myself accept that fact. He spent so much time outside the house that I was basically raising my daughter alone. People loved him — he was their hero and needed his help. He ended up just being a provider, but I also needed him to be a co-parent.
My ex pretended rather was workaholic having (his ex) no where at priority. He would often work on weekends. While I waited for him to come home in the evenings, he’d be in his office still working at something or spending his evenings out with friends. When he did come home, instead of being with me, he would start spending much time out and often stayed glued to his phone till the wee hours of the or television . We hardly even had meals together. Several days a week he would come home at one in his timing as if I was a mere maid kept for household work simply , telling me he’d already eaten and not to wait up for him.
To my shock, in the last few years of our marriage, I realized he’d found someone else.
He used to pass signs to me he was emotionally, mentally, and physically done with me maybe because my parents didn't had enough to pay for me to continue this term called marraige but his statements never truly sank in.
Out of all the moment n that one fine complete bleedy night while my clothes n face was whole blooded n mental abuse by each individual have taken me to another area of my mind which I have never seen a new me discovered n it all ended . All the abuses & physical torture that started just a week after the marriage was tolerated considering the love of the value which my UPBRINGING had given me to continue the bond of marriage at any cost being any situation it is sailing through finally broke down the way n virtually took the last breath as bond of TOGETHERNESS....I couldn't consider the crime of departing a son with parents else may would have given a chance of fresht separately seeing the one year old angel in my hands I felt helpless but had no other way left except standing on my legs n making my professional standards firm at par created a mark upto the level expected to but some not somewhere the ideal life of normal people was no more my choice ...started running away from all n kept on working with several ideas n platforms just to engage mind at home or mostly being with my only family as my daughter .. was surrounded by so many people enjoying every festival n celebration around but seemed no colours in it ...life kept going n adding colours with the angel n so on until she was about to be 4 ( 4 months back )
When it finally sunk in, I cocooned. I wanted to be alone because I had nothing more to give him. I battled with my mind and with our relationship. If I brought up his behavior, we would fight and then he'd get busy or sleep alone n I kept on crying whole night for end number of months just to talk him once n vent out my feelings which fortunately happended rare n that too ended with blame games n no support on my end ever. I consulted the psychologist, thinking I was having a nervous breakdown. I started taking prescription medication for depression. It made me feel like I was hopelessly sick and alone.He never saw what was happening to me because he was too busy or he was somewhere else. I was falling apart because he didn’t acknowledge his part in our dead marriage. He blamed it all on me. When I asked him to join me in couple's counselling, he refused. Because I continued to see my psychologist alone, he told family and friends I had a mental condition.
To my shock, in the last few years of our marriage, I realized he’d found someone else. I turned a blind eye to his adultery and continued living with him even though I knew he was emotionally and physically involved with another woman. I just didn’t want to let go of him. I was afraid of complete abandonment.
For days I had shut myself inside.
But I overcame my depression by starting to work on myself — just myself. I reached out to the family members and friends who accepted me as I was. I engaged in healthy communities, which helped to pull me out of the shackles of my dead marriage, which I had been told was my fault. I realized I should turn to God to receive the unconditional love and acceptance I needed.
For days I had shut myself inside. There was immense emotional damage, and by not sharing and allowing myself to renew, I had been carrying all the stress of life by myself. By letting go of a dead relationship, I was able to be healed and to become myself again, with a new beginning.
I feel I am well on my way to recovery. All I’ve been through has made me stronger than I thought I could ever be. I have lived my life in many colours — some cold and some warm hues. Whatever canvas I’ve painted so far, it has made me who I am today. I now believe there was purpose in my struggle.
If you are facing emotional abandonment today, I want you to know that you don't have to face it alone. Reaching out to talk about it was a huge part of my journey to healing. If you leave your email address and name below, one of our free and confidential mentors will connect with you soon to listen and to support you. You can leave your real name or a fake one. It's up to you.
AUTHOR'S NAME UPASANA
You don't have to face this alone. Talk to me, it's confidential.
Please fill out the details below so as life coach could get in touch with you.
More info about this issue:
You can share about your journey here.
Your Name (required):
Or alias if desired.
Your Email (required):
Always kept secret.
Your Gender:
Female Male Other Age Range (required):
These issues can be hard to face. If you’re considering harming yourself or others ..it is always better to rest things sink in peace n release all the emotions with light ahead n vent out all previous emotions by all means ... TRUST your JOURNEY....
I STRUGGLE WITH
EMOTIONAL ABANDONMENT......
40995 People struggle with this too.
I got married believing I would have a partner to share life with a healthy family Instead, I ended up more alone than ever before rather bunch of craps n abuses on physical n mental level with my education being my biggest curse as the prime statement all time popping up from in laws n family..Place where reading a English newspaper was a bad habit as daughter in law comes to work not to read ... where talking to elders n sharing your genuine problems seems to be rude n disobedient...where wearing or dressing twice a day means you have bad character or you have habit of not valuing money .. much more in que which kept on going . .stealing of belongings also became a hard way to survive n a matter of self security n Moreover for the same you were blamed being careless what a beautiful world God has created must say how KARMA'S pay back in various forms.....never mind ..
SHACKLED TO A DEAD MARRIAGE
I was left alone in our marriage. My husband didn’t know how to acknowledge my feelings or show me his support. After 6 months of courtship and 4 (2 years separated) years of marriage, we gradually become strangers — to the point where mutual understanding faded and there was hardly a trace of connection left between us.
I wanted him to hear me out, to show that he cared about how I felt and to notice what I was going through. But that wasn’t something he wanted to do. He was a “best friend” to others outside our home, but for many years I felt like I came in second place to everything. I was left thinking, I wish he wanted to be my friend. When I told him how I felt, he’d dismiss my feelings as if they weren’t even real. We became strangers, living under the same roof, hardly talking. On the rare occasions we did talk, it usually ended in arguments. We even slept on same bed as if in separate rooms because he didn't want to be near me.
When my husband was present, he was never really there for me and our daughter. He had moved on before, but I wouldn’t let myself accept that fact. He spent so much time outside the house that I was basically raising my daughter alone. People loved him — he was their hero and needed his help. He ended up just being a provider, but I also needed him to be a co-parent.
My ex pretended rather was workaholic having (his ex) no where at priority. He would often work on weekends. While I waited for him to come home in the evenings, he’d be in his office still working at something or spending his evenings out with friends. When he did come home, instead of being with me, he would start spending much time out and often stayed glued to his phone till the wee hours of the or television . We hardly even had meals together. Several days a week he would come home at one in his timing as if I was a mere maid kept for household work simply , telling me he’d already eaten and not to wait up for him.
To my shock, in the last few years of our marriage, I realized he’d found someone else.
He used to pass signs to me he was emotionally, mentally, and physically done with me maybe because my parents didn't had enough to pay for me to continue this term called marraige but his statements never truly sank in.
Out of all the moment n that one fine complete bleedy night while my clothes n face was whole blooded n mental abuse by each individual have taken me to another area of my mind which I have never seen a new me discovered n it all ended . All the abuses & physical torture that started just a week after the marriage was tolerated considering the love of the value which my UPBRINGING had given me to continue the bond of marriage at any cost being any situation it is sailing through finally broke down the way n virtually took the last breath as bond of TOGETHERNESS....I couldn't consider the crime of departing a son with parents else may would have given a chance of fresht separately seeing the one year old angel in my hands I felt helpless but had no other way left except standing on my legs n making my professional standards firm at par created a mark upto the level expected to but some not somewhere the ideal life of normal people was no more my choice ...started running away from all n kept on working with several ideas n platforms just to engage mind at home or mostly being with my only family as my daughter .. was surrounded by so many people enjoying every festival n celebration around but seemed no colours in it ...life kept going n adding colours with the angel n so on until she was about to be 4 ( 4 months back )
When it finally sunk in, I cocooned. I wanted to be alone because I had nothing more to give him. I battled with my mind and with our relationship. If I brought up his behavior, we would fight and then he'd get busy or sleep alone n I kept on crying whole night for end number of months just to talk him once n vent out my feelings which fortunately happended rare n that too ended with blame games n no support on my end ever. I consulted the psychologist, thinking I was having a nervous breakdown. I started taking prescription medication for depression. It made me feel like I was hopelessly sick and alone.He never saw what was happening to me because he was too busy or he was somewhere else. I was falling apart because he didn’t acknowledge his part in our dead marriage. He blamed it all on me. When I asked him to join me in couple's counselling, he refused. Because I continued to see my psychologist alone, he told family and friends I had a mental condition.
To my shock, in the last few years of our marriage, I realized he’d found someone else. I turned a blind eye to his adultery and continued living with him even though I knew he was emotionally and physically involved with another woman. I just didn’t want to let go of him. I was afraid of complete abandonment.
For days I had shut myself inside.
But I overcame my depression by starting to work on myself — just myself. I reached out to the family members and friends who accepted me as I was. I engaged in healthy communities, which helped to pull me out of the shackles of my dead marriage, which I had been told was my fault. I realized I should turn to God to receive the unconditional love and acceptance I needed.
For days I had shut myself inside. There was immense emotional damage, and by not sharing and allowing myself to renew, I had been carrying all the stress of life by myself. By letting go of a dead relationship, I was able to be healed and to become myself again, with a new beginning.
I feel I am well on my way to recovery. All I’ve been through has made me stronger than I thought I could ever be. I have lived my life in many colours — some cold and some warm hues. Whatever canvas I’ve painted so far, it has made me who I am today. I now believe there was purpose in my struggle.
If you are facing emotional abandonment today, I want you to know that you don't have to face it alone. Reaching out to talk about it was a huge part of my journey to healing. If you leave your email address and name below, one of our free and confidential mentors will connect with you soon to listen and to support you. You can leave your real name or a fake one. It's up to you.
AUTHOR'S NAME UPASANA
You don't have to face this alone. Talk to me, it's confidential.
Please fill out the details below so as life coach could get in touch with you.
More info about this issue:
You can share about your journey here.
Your Name (required):
Or alias if desired.
Your Email (required):
Always kept secret.
Your Gender:
Female Male Other Age Range (required):
These issues can be hard to face. If you’re considering harming yourself or others ..it is always better to rest things sink in peace n release all the emotions with light ahead n vent out all previous emotions by all means ... TRUST your JOURNEY....
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